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【www.arisingsemi.com--语言培训】
jalapeno How could we don"t have the same number of containers and lids?Why would they ever get separated?
Built-up resentment, money issues,
met a younger lid.
Mom, where"s my science homework?
Uh, it"s over there on the table.
So, Alex, honey, what"s going on?
Anything exciting?
No.
- Any boys? - No.
I"m feeling a little bit disconnected
from Alex right now.
Last week, I picked up her cellphone,thinking it was I accidentally read a few flirty text messagesthat were probably from a boy in her class,
which is fine.
Or they"re from a drifter.
Come on, isn"t there something
you want to share with your mommers?
Yeah. Don"t call yourself "Mommers."
He blew his lid when she tried to contain him.
Okay. What do you think?
-I like it. -But you don"t love it.
No, I do. I love it.
- As much as you loved the other one? - Ooh.
Okay. Mm.
The house is on fire. I only have time to grab one shirt.
Which one do I take?
The correct answer is take Lily.
After that.
Uh, okay, the blue one.
Because the gray one washes me out.
No, no. Cam, you -- you can"t go wrong here.
Everything you"ve tried on looks great.
I love you in both of them.
Oh, you"re so nice to me.
Mitchell has a problem with public displays of affection.
Um, I remember once at a new year"s eve party,
stroke of midnight, he high-fived me.
Two problems with that --
One, gays don"t high-five.
Two, gays don"t high-five.
I"m home。
Mmm, what smells so good?
I"m making chunchullo, a traditional Colombian dish,
for dinner with the family tonight.
Chunchullo.
What is that -- like, uh, tacos?
Yes, like tacos.
No, it isn"t.
- It"s the small intestine of a pig. - Oh, Geez.
Why can"t we eat regular food like normal people?
I told you, Jay.
My grandmother, who rests in peace,
has been coming to me in my dreams,
telling me that I"m losing touch with my roots.
See, this is awkward,
because my dead uncle joe told me to have steak tonight.
No, no, no, Jay. Have some respect.
My grandmother can hear you.
What do you mean, she can hear us?
Well, in our culture,
we believe that the dead are all around us.
She"s right, Manny.
She could be right here,
her bony fingers reaching out from the grave.
Yeah, keep it up, Jay.
There"s already one dead person in this room.
You want to make it two?
I"m sorry. I"ve got a printer to install.
Oh, Gloria, have your grandmother
run me up an iced tea in about 10 minutes.
Yeah, she has a better chance of making that work than you。
Why don"t you save us the stomping and the swearing and call Phil?
He"s good at that stuff.
Better than me?
Phil"s not better than me at anything,
Except maybe making that stupid sound with his mouth.
A what, what
You spit on me.
Haley, honey, um, I need you to do something for me.
Ugh. Mom, my arm hurts.
Why don"t you find out what it is
before you start making up excuses to get out of it
Okay, what is it?
I need you to talk to your sister.
I think that there"s something going on with her and a boy.
So?
So, I am your mother, and it is my job to make sure
that you girls don"t get involved with a predator.
Okay, mom, stop watching "Dateline."
And why can"t you just talk to her?
I have tried to talk to her.
I -- she won"t talk to me. You know that.
That"s because you get so weird every time a boy comes near us.
I-I just don"t want you girls to --
- To make the same mistakes that you did? - No。
No.
Mom, I"m not an idiot.
I pick up on things.
And I don"t think that you were the good girl
you pretend you were.
Wow. That is so untrue.
I was a very good girl. Mm.
Your kids don"t need to know
They need to know who you wish you were,
and they need to try to live up to that person.
They"re gonna fall short,
but better they fall short of the fake you
than the real you.
Which is why we don"t hide anything.
That"s the opposite of what I just said.
I was not listening.
I"ll say it again -- I love you in paisley.
Oh, let me lock the door and draw the curtains.
What does that mean?
-It doesn"t mean anything. -Good.
You know exactly what it means.
You won"t kiss me in front of other people
because you"re ashamed of who you are.
And, yes...I went there.
Okay, you can"t say, "Yes, I went there,"
when you go there all the time.
And, by the way, I"m the one who makes speeches on airplanes
every time someone looks at us weird.
I"m the one who gives my dad hell
when he refers to you as my "Friend."
That"s different. That"s confrontation.
But you know what takes real strength?
Whining?
-Affection. -Oh, this is insane.
Buying a shirt -- it"s not a kiss-worthy moment.
Oh, I didn"t know there was an official list.
Please, tell us -- what is on the list?
I"ll tell you what"s not on the list --
Finding jalapeno-stuffed olives,
making the light on maple,
every time we see a V.W.
You don"t like "Kiss-buggy"?
It"s not a real game。
It -- it"s just another way for you to be needy.
I -- and I don"t appreciate you making me feel bad
because I can"t live up to your impossible standards.
Nobody kisses at a bowling alley。
I almost got a turkey。
"Yello"?
Oh, hey, Jay. Just a sec. I"ll go get Claire.
Oh, actually, it"s you I"m calling.
What was that?
The cat. There"s a cat. What"s up?
Well, Gloria"s been missing her grandmother.
I"ve been trying to get this old picture of her printed,
but I can"t get this new printer to --
I"ll be right there.
Luke, grandpa needs us。
Hells yes, I was glad to get the call.
Jay"s always around here fixing things,
cracking jokes about my "Delicate hands"
or my gag response to the smell of paint.
Look who needs me now
Mr. Hot-dog fingers who can"t press "Print"
without hitting three extra keys.
Yeah。
You"re in my house now, Jay。
T-technically, we"ll be in his house,
but we"ll be in my area...
of his house.
So, I hear you have a boyfriend.
- No, I don"t. - Who is he?
- I"m not talking to you about this. - Oh, come on.
You"re finally interesting. Just tell me.
He"s not my boyfriend.
It"s Jeremy Reed.
It"s -- he"s just this boy that I --
- Love? - No。
Well, have you guys kissed yet?
No。
Well, what are you waiting for?
I"m not waiting. I"m 13.
And you"ve never kiss boy?
How old were you?
Like 11.
And it was beautiful.
I was in Jackson Kaner"s carpeted garage.
- 11? - Yeah.
So you better get on it,
or else he"s gonna think you"re a lesbian.
He"s not going to think I"m a lesbian.
I thought you were.
You totally have the sandals for it.
Let"s see this bad boy.
Oh, a P-750. Nice unit.
I would have sprung for the 840,
But I get it --
not everyone can handle that kind of horsepower.
I thought maybe the cordless phone was interfering,
so I unplugged it.
Good idea. Maybe we should run downstairs
and unplug the toaster while we"re at it.
Oh, snap, dad.
Toaster.
We"re kidding.
A cordless phone is 5.8 gigahertz. This is wi-fi.
It"s a totally different spectrum.
Walk with me?
Here"s a little trick that I"ve found pretty useful with Claire.
The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk
command-p" Makes the picture walk, walk, walk"
How come it"s not working?
It should be.
Okay.
Uh, that should be printing.
So...
Hey, Phil, I"m gonna get a beer, beer, beer
Before I hit you in the head, head, head.
Hey. What are you doing here?
Hi, Jeremy. I want to ask you something.
- Sure, ask - Wait, don"t talk yet.
Here is the thing.
We"ve texting for a while, and it"s been nice,
but I feel like it"s leading to something else,
and I don"t know if you do or not,
but I guess what I"m trying to say is,
I"m just a girl standing in front of a boy
asking for him to like her.
Oh, god, that"s from "Notting hill."
So dorky. But a really underrated movie.
What"s happening?
I"m not a lesbian.
I would like for you to kiss me.
Oh, I love watching you stir.
Then I will stop.
What? Are you still mad at me?
Yes. You have to apologize for making fun of my culture, my beliefs,
my chunchullo, my abuela.
I"m sorry.
If you think your Grandmother"s here with us,
I respect that.
Now, come here.
Oh, Grandma。
Where"d you come from?
We"re gonna have to get you a little bell.
Enough, Jay。
My culture is very important to me。
I"ve been working all day to share it with your family tonight,and all
you do is mock me。
Just go。
Honey, I"m sorry.
I"m just teasing you.
Instead of being the comedian, why don"t you help me?
What do you need?
- Slap the chicken. - Do what?
In Colombia, when you cook in honor of the departed,
you have to scare death away from the food
to protect the people that are gonna eat it.
Slap it and yell.
That"s the nuttiest --
-Jay。 -Calm down.
Give me the chicken.
Here we go.
That"s not scaring anything away.
When my grandfather used to cook,
the whole house would shake.
Louder.
Higher.
Louder。
Higher。 Louder。
There。
I made all that up.
That is not a real custom in Colombia.
We"re not lunatics.
But you mess with us, and we mess with you.
That"s the custom.
Louder。
Hey, honey. Where"d you go?
Nowhere. Just for a bike ride.
Oh, my god。 Puh-lease tell me this text is wrong。
Did you really just go over to that kid"s house
and try and kiss him in front of a million people?。
- Alex, did you do that? - You got a text?
Oh, yeah. Everybody knows.
Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?。
This is all your fault。
You"re the one who said I had to kiss him or I was a lesbian。
Haley。 Did you say that to her?。
Oh, don"t turn this on me. Look at her shoes。
Ugh。
I"m never going back to school now.
No, sweetheart. Yes, you are. You are going back to school.
But listen to me-- Just because a boy sends you flirty texts.
Doesn"t mean that
-you have to text him back - what?。
You read my texts?。
- I... - You read her texts?。
That"s why you made me talk to her?。
You made her talk to me?。
I kind of feel like we"re spinning out here a little bit.
Look, Alex, the important thing here
Is that you have to be very careful how you behave around boys
Because it is so easy to get a reputation.
Well, I"m sorry I"m not a perfect little good girl like you were。
Were you?
Were you?。
I highly doubt it。
Don"t be such a chicken. There"s no ghost in here.
I"m telling you, my Mom said her dead grander was in the house.
She said she felt her here this morning...
In this room.
Maybe your Mom"s mentally ill.
Who puts a router... in the attic?
Did she have a limp and a cane?
Ghost of Manny"s great-grandma,
if that"s really you,
Show yourself。
That"s her。
Come on。
Why?。
Why?。
。
-Hi, grandpa.- How we doing, girls?
Mom ruined my life today.
-I didn"t ruin your life. I was - don"t even talk to me。
I didn"t even want to come here.
Well, okay.
Snacks and and sodas are in the living room,
But don"t fill up -- we"ve got intestines coming.
Uh, dad, if you"re looking for your shoes,
I think I know where they are.
This happens to be a colombian custom --
Walking in the footsteps of the ancestors, blah, blah, blah.
Beats slapping the chicken.
Here, I brought you a drink.
Oh, wait a minute --
Sip it first.
I"m not mad at you.
I thought about it, and maybe you"re right.
I can be a little needy sometimes.
Oh, well, I-I appreciate that.
And you"re probably not entirely off base.
I mean, lord knows I-I"ve got my quirks.
And I-I"m not the most demonstrative guy around,
But I"m -- I"m working on it.
-And I"m gonna help you with it. -Good.
Just don"t give up on me.
Never.
Okay, everybody, let"s gather around。
Jay, come here.
Tonight we dine on the traditional colombian recipes
of my abuela, my grandmother.
And even though she"s no longer with me,
I am very happy because I have all of you.
To ana-maria rosa de la immaculada jimenez morales.
To ana-maria rosa...
That was beautiful, Gloria,
just like my Mitchell.
Just slipped right off there.
Ay, Cameron, what happened?
One moment you were there,
the next, only shoes.
I"ll tell you what happened --
Mitchell is embarrassed to kiss me
in front of other people.
No, you ambushed me。
Oh, Cam, come on.
Don"t take it personally.
When Mitchell was in high school,
He was dating this girl -- Robin Schier.
He would never kiss her, either.
That"s because I was gay.
What"s your excuse now?
Ay, Cameron, it"s not Mitch"s fault.
He gets it from his father.
Jay doesn"t like the lovey-dovey in public, either.
I can"t believe you"re coming at me right now.
I"m standing here with shoes around my neck.
And for the better part of a half-hour,
I screamed the death out of your meat.
-Now, what do you want from me? -Don"t you see?
It"s because of you
that your son cannot kiss his own lover.
- Don"t say "Lover." - we don"t like "Lover."
Can we just eat?
No. Tell Mitch
that it"s okay to kiss Cam in front of you.
Why is that something we have to do?
We don"t.
Of course we don"t.
Oh, I"m sorry that I don"t want to make out with you
in front of my whole family.
No need to apologize.
Oh, Gloria is right.
Dad, you being so emotionally closed off
makes it very difficult for your children to show affection.
- Really? - Yes.
You had trouble showing affection in public places?
-Yes。- You? -Yes.
Was that before or after
you were delivered to my door in a squad car,
wearing nothing but your underwear and a police blanket?
Oh, my god. What? You were arrested?
-Awesome。 - Not awesome.
And I wasn"t arrested.
Your grandfather was just telling a joke.
It was just a joke. I got a million of "em.
Dad.
I did it。
It"s printing。
I had to download new firmware, install new drivers,
change your encryption, and replace an ethernet cable
in a 100-degree attic,
while dodging particularly aggressive spiders,
but I did it。
Thanks.
Oh. Okay. I guess that"s it.
What? What"s it?
Wake up, dummy.
This is what we"re talking about.
This guy"s been working like an imbecile all day for you.
People need something else -- kisses, hugs.
What, for fixing a printer?
Oh, it"s fine. It was only four hours.
I tipped over a paint can and threw up a little,
But I think -- I think "Thanks" about covers it.
Well, what"s wrong with "Thanks"?
It"s pretty much the bare minimum, dad.
Jay, for god"s sakes, just say something.
You want me to say something?
How about "You"re welcome"?
How about "I"m -- I"m so happy to be here for you all
so I can take the blame for all your crap."
I don"t do this,
I never did that.
Trust me, I gave you twice
as much as my father ever gave me.
The man kissed me one time in my entire life.
He came up behind me, kissed me on the back of the head,
said, "Goodnight, Becky."
He thought I was my sister.
Wait a minute.
When was the last time you kissed Mitch?
What does that have to do with anything?
Mitch, when was the last time he kissed you?
I-I don"t remember.
- It wasn"t that long ago. - I was 12.
12? This is the problem。
Jay"s dad doesn"t kiss Jay,
so Jay doe"t kiss Mitch, and Mitch is uptight.
Okay, okay, "Uptight" was really not on the table.
This is more about kissing.
Jay, kiss your son. He"s a mess.
Oh, come on, now.
We don"t have to do that. It"s...
- Yes, you do. - No. - Come on.
Come on, do it. You"re in front of your grandchildren.
All right, all right。 Shut up。
Mitch, get over here.
W-what, now? Well, I feel weird now.
Don"t be coy.
What are you waiting for, a box of chocolates?
Let"s do this.
That"s the sweetest thing I"ve ever seen.
All right, and now because I never want to hear this again.
You.
Not you.
Oh, daddy, I love you.
Let"s go eat chunchullo。
You know it"s made of pig intestines, right?
Alex, wait.
- What? - I want to talk to you.
Mom, I don"t want another lecture.
It"s not a lecture. I want to tell you something.
Honey, I know exactly how you"re feeling.
No, you don"t.
Okay, the -- the joke that grandpa told tonight?
That -- that happened.
That...That was true.
So, you were arrested naked?
I wasn"t naked。
And I was not arrested per se.
I was driven home one night by the police
because my boyfriend and I
had gone swimming in somebody"s pool,
and we didn"t have bathing suits and -- blah, blah, blah.
The details aren"t important.
What matters is that everybody at school was talking about it.
And I thought I would die.
But it passed.
I swear.
And now, honey, I"m -- I"m glad it happened.
I"ve got a funny story to tell at dinner parties.
So, how long did it take before you thought it was funny?
Oh, god...
10, 15 years.
Great. What do I do about tomorrow?
I don"t think you have to worry about that.
Go, go, go
In Colombia, we kiss for everything,
because a kiss can mean so many different things.
There"s no ghost in here, is there?
Not a chance.
Sleep easy, kid.
It can be the start of something new.
It can be how we say, "This is the person that I love."
So who"s a better kisser, me or your dad?
Ew.
It can be romantic.
Just so you know, if my friends weren"t there,
I would"ve said yes.
So, if you still want to...
If it"s okay...
Maybe we should hang out more first.
This is only the second conversation we"ve had
that wasn"t by text.
It can also be worth waiting for.
Jay, what is this?
Just another nice thing I did for you
while you made a fool of me.
Manny let me in on your little tricks.
You feel bad now?
No. I feel good.
That one is definitely my favorite.
Phil, you really don"t have to do this.
No. I-I can do it. I wanna do it.
It"s silly to pay someone else just to do something --
Oh, no。
Oh。
Oh, wait。 No, no, don"t spill it。
Sweetie, don"t spill that。
Oh, that"s on me。
Careful。 Oh, gosh。
Okay, get up. You"re fine.
- Get it off。 - Okay, I got it.
I got it. Got it off. Got it off.
- Oh, the face。 - Not the face。
- Oh, the face。 - All right,
I"ll pull it down。
You"re good。
All right, I"m gonna have to
- It"s on me. - I"ll cut it off.
Good idea.
Get a bucket, please。
怎么盒子和盖子的数量不对应呢
它们怎么会分开呢
可能感情不和 也可能经济问题
还可能跟年轻的盖子跑了
妈妈 我的科学作业哪去了
就在那边的桌子上
艾丽克斯 宝贝 最近怎么样
有啥新鲜事吗
没有
-有喜欢的男孩吗 -没有
我觉得我和艾丽克斯之间
有代沟了
就在上周,我错拿了她的手机无意中看到几条暧昧短信
如果是她班上的某个男生干的
那也就罢了
就怕是哪个混混发的
来嘛 你就真没啥
要告诉你"马马"的吗
有 别自称"马马"
盒子想上盖子 盖子爆发了
你觉得这件怎么样
-我喜欢 -但不是特别喜欢
谁说的 我爱死它了
-和刚才那件比 -天
好吧
房子着火了 我只来得及拿一件衬
我选谁
带上莉莉才是正解
那之后呢
好吧 拿蓝色的那件
因为我穿灰色的显胖
不不不 别误会 小卡
你不管穿什么都美翻了
两件都好搭你
还是你疼我
米奇尔不喜欢在公众场合亲热
我记得有一年的新年派对上
零点钟声一响 他和我击掌庆祝
两个问题
首先 同志不击掌
其次 同志不击掌
我回来啦
烧什么呢这么香
我在做圈圈肉 哥伦比亚名菜呢
为了今晚的家庭聚餐准备的
圈圈肉
那是啥 跟玉米卷差不多吗
对 就跟玉米卷似的
才不是呢
-这是猪肠做的 -我的老天爷
我们就不能像其他人一样吃正常点儿吗
我跟你说过滴 杰
我那远在天国的奶奶
曾经托梦给我
告诫我不要忘本
你看 这下尴尬了
因为我死了的叔叔告诉我今晚该吃牛排
不不不 杰 放尊重点
我奶奶能听见你滴
什么意思 她能听到我们吗
是这样滴 在我们的文化里
我们相信死者的灵魂就在我们身边
她说的对 曼尼
可能现在她就在你背后
从坟墓里伸出她那瘦骨嶙峋的手指
厉害哦 杰 继续忽悠呀
这房子里已经有一个死人了
你也想死是哇
我错了 我去装打印机
歌洛莉亚 麻烦让你奶奶
十分钟后给我拿杯冰红茶来
是啊 她要活着滴话干得比你好
你打电话给菲尔啊 省得一会你搞砸了又叫又骂
他这方面比较牛
能有我牛
菲尔任何方面都没我牛
他也就只会怪叫啥的
咋 咋样
你口水喷我脸上了
宝贝海莉 来帮我个
啊 妈 我手痛
你都不知道我找你啥事
着急编瞎话干嘛
好吧 说吧
我要你去和你妹妹谈谈
我觉得她和某个男孩子有暧昧
然后
然后 我是你们的妈妈
确保你们不被坏蛋给剥皮吃了
得了吧 妈妈 别再看新闻联播了
你自己怎么不去和她谈
我试过了
她不会跟我开口的 你懂的
因为一有男孩接近我们你就变得神经质
我只是不想你们这些女孩子
-重蹈你的覆辙吗 -不是
当然不是
老妈 我又不傻
我看得出来
你可不是你口中描述的
那种好女孩
天哪 你大错特错了
你不知道我以前有多乖
孩子不需要知道
他们只需了解你想要的完美形象
还必须以你为榜样
他们可能达不到这个标准
但参照人物是虚构的完美的你
肯定比真实的你强
所以我们从不隐瞒
你说的和我的刚好相反
我溜号了
我还得说一遍 我喜欢你穿这件佩斯利
不如先关好门 拉好窗帘
你什么意思
-什么意思都没有 -很好
你当然知道我什么意思
你不在别人面前亲我
是因为你不能正视自己
没错 我就是戳你痛处了
你不能拿戳我当乐事
还企图用过去式
再说了 每次飞机上有人对咱们另眼相待
可都是我站出来教育他们
我爸爸说你是我"朋友"的时候
也是我跟他挑明挖烂了理论
那不一样 那是正面冲突
但你知道什么才最需要勇气吗
抱怨吗
-是表达爱意 -受不了了
买衬衫有什么可亲的
我不知道这还有官方规定
求你 告诉我 什么时候能亲
我告诉你什么时候不亲吧
吃了夹辣椒的橄榄
给枫树挂灯泡的时候
看到大众车的时候也不亲
你不喜欢玩"亲亲甲壳虫"[看到大众甲壳虫车就亲亲]
那根本就不是游戏
那不过是你黏人的一种方式
你可别想把我搞得很内疚
因为我可达不到你那离谱的标准
没人在保龄球馆接吻
我差点打出三击全中
侬好
你好 杰 等下 我找克莱尔去
其实我找你
什么声音
是猫 有只猫 什么事
歌洛莉亚很想念她的外婆
我一直想打印出一张她的照片
但是新的打印机 我...
我马上到
卢克 外公需要我们
接到电话 我当然很高兴
杰总来我家修东西
嘲笑我柔弱的双手
还有我一闻油漆就吐
看看谁来求哥了
"手好粗"先生每次想按打印键
他那胖手都会多按好几个按钮
真菜
你可是在我的主场 杰
准确的说 我要去他的地盘迎战
但是他的地盘
哥做主
我听说你有男朋友了
-哪有 -他是谁
-我才不告诉你呢 -说吧
你总算有点八卦可挖了 快说呗
他不是我男友
他叫杰里米·瑞德
不过是个男孩 我...
-爱他 -没有
你们接吻了吗
没有
那你等什么呢
我没等 人家才13岁
你还没亲过男生
你初吻什么时候
11岁的时候吧
唯美极了
是在杰克逊·肯纳家铺了地毯的车库里
-11岁 -是啊
你最好也抓紧
要不然他会觉得你是拉拉
他才不会认为我是拉拉
我就以为你是
你那凉鞋很拉拉
我们来看看出了什么问题
P-750型 不错
要是我 会选840那款
但是我知道
不是谁都能玩转这种高级货的
我以为是无线电话干扰了信号
我就给它拔了
好主意 也许我们应该下楼
把面包机也拔了
幽默啊 老爸
面包机
开玩笑
无线电话是5.8千兆赫 这个是无线网络
用的不是一个频谱
跟我来
教克莱尔使用电器的时候 我发明了个小诀窍
电脑和打印机必须要交流 流 流
command+p[苹果快捷键] 图片就出来了 了 了
好像没反应啊
不应该啊
好吧
应该开始打印了
应该是...
菲尔 在打的你头头头之前
我要先喝杯啤酒酒酒
嘿 有事吗
杰里米 我有问题想问你
-好 问 -等等 你先别出声
是在这么回事
我们短信已经发了一段时间了 这样挺好
但我感觉我们不止于此
我不知道你有没有这种感觉
我要说的是
我只是一个女孩 站在一个男孩面前
请他喜欢她
不对 这句是《诺丁山》的台词
太老套了 不过这绝对是部被低估的电影
你想表达什么
我不是拉拉
我想你亲我
我喜欢看你搅拌的样子
那我就停下
怎么 你还生我的气
是 你要为取笑我滴文化 我滴信仰
我滴圈圈肉 我滴奶奶而道歉
对不起
如果你认为你奶奶也在这里
我表示尊重
来抱
奶奶 你从哪冒出来的
看来我们要给你系个小铃铛才行
够了 杰
我的文化对我很重要
为了今晚跟你滴家人吃饭我忙了一整天
你却只管嘲笑我
走开
亲爱的 对不起
我只是逗你玩
有时间当小丑 干嘛不帮我
要我干什么
-拍鸡肉 -干什么
在哥伦比亚 为了表示对死者的尊重
烹饪前要把死神从食物吓走
以保护将要吃此食物滴人
一边拍一边叫
那也太傻缺了
-杰 -淡定
鸡肉拿来
拍就拍
介么轻什么也吓不跑
以前我爷爷做饭滴时候
整间房子都在颤抖0
大声点
调高点
不够大声
调再高 声再大 这才差不多
我瞎编滴
哥伦比亚没有这个习俗
我们又不是精神错乱
但你惹姐不高兴 姐也不让你舒坦
这才素我们的习俗
大声点
亲爱的 你去哪
哪也没去 就骑了会脚踏车
我的天 求求你告诉我这短信纯属虚构
你真跑去那个小屁孩的家
在众目睽睽之下跟他索吻
-艾丽克斯你真这么做了 -你收到短信爆料了
当然 地球人都知道了
你知道这让我有多尴尬吗
这都是你的错
是你说我如果不跟他接吻就是拉拉
海莉 你真这么说了
别扯到我身上 你看她穿的那双鞋
我永远都不要去上学了
不 亲爱的 你要 你要去上学
但听我说 男生给你发暧昧短信
并不表示
-你要回复他 -什么 你偷看我短信
-我... -你偷看她短信
这就是为什么你要我跟她谈
是你让她跟我谈的
我觉得我们现在把话题扯远了
艾丽克斯 重点是
你跟男生的交往要格外小心
要不你很容易就把名声给毁了
我很抱歉我不像你是那么完美的乖乖女
你乖吗
你乖吗?。
我严重怀疑
胆子别这么小 这里根本没有什么鬼魂
我说真的 我妈说她过世的奶奶就在这
她说她今天早上感觉到她的存在
就在这个房间
也许你妈精神病
是哪个天刹的把路由器... 放在阁楼里
她是不是腿脚不便 杵着一根枴杖
曼尼曾祖母的鬼魂
如果真是你
快快显灵
这就是我曾祖母
怎么会
为什么
为什么?。
。
-外公好 -你们好吗 孩子们
我今天算是被妈妈毁了
-我没有 我是 -不要和我说话
我根本都不想来这
好了
点心和苏打水在客厅
别吃太饱 一会还要吃猪肠
那个 爸 如果你在找鞋
我晓得在哪儿
这是个哥伦比亚风俗
追随祖先的足迹啥啥啥的
总比让我拍鸡肉好过
来 我给你拿了杯喝的
等一下
你先喝一口
我没生你气
我想了一下 也许你是对的
有时候我是有点粘人了
喔 谢谢你那么说
当然也不全是你的错
我是说 天知道 我自己也很怪咖
我不是个爱感情外露的人
但是我在改
-我会帮你的 -好
别失去耐心
永远不会
大家伙都过来
杰 过来
今晚我们吃传统哥伦比亚菜
我奶奶的拿手菜 [abuela西班牙语里祖母的意思]
尽管她已经不在了
但素我很高兴 因为我有你们
为了我的祖母干杯[祖母名字不要太~长]
为… 那谁干杯
歌洛莉亚 太美好了
就像我的米奇尔一样
好滑
卡梅隆 怎么了
刚才你还坐在那
一眨眼滴功夫就只看见鞋子了
我告诉你是怎么回事
米奇尔不好意思
在别人面前吻我
不是的 是你太突然了
小卡 算了吧
他不是针对你
米奇尔上高中的时候
和一个叫罗宾·希尔的女孩约会
他也从来不吻人家
那是因为我是同志
那现在你又有什么借口
卡梅隆 这不怪米奇尔
他遗传他爸
杰也不喜欢在公共场合黏黏呼呼滴
简直不敢相信你又扯到我身上来了
我现在站在这 脖子上还套着双鞋
有大半个钟头
我都在大嚷着把肉里面的死神吓出来
-你到底想让我怎么样 -看见了吧
都是因为你
你儿子才不肯吻他情人的
-不要说"情人" -我们不喜欢说"情人"
我们吃饭好不好
不行 你告诉米奇尔
他可以当着你的面吻卡梅隆
干嘛非得这样
不需要
当然不需要
真对不起 我不想当着我全家人的面
和你亲热
不用道歉
歌洛莉亚说的对
爸爸 你这么封闭自己的感情
影响了你的孩子也很难表达自己的感情
-是吗 -没错
你在公共场合也不善于表达感情
-对 -你吗 -是的
那是在你什么也没穿
只穿着内衣 披着警察局的毯子
被巡逻车送到我门口之前还是之后
天哪 什么 你进去过
-太给力了 -给什么力
我没有被逮捕
你们外公只是在开玩笑
玩笑吗 我能讲N个呢
爸爸
我成功啦
能打印了
我下载了新固件 安装了新的驱动程序
改了你的加密码 还在蒸笼似的阁楼上
换了条以太网线缆
一边还得防着点蜘蛛
但是我做到了
谢谢
喔 看来就这样了
什么 就怎么样了
还不明白吗 傻瓜
这就是我们说的
这家伙像白痴一样给你忙活了一天
我们还需要别的东西 亲吻 拥抱
什么 就为了修理个打印机吗
也没什么 只用了四个小时
我让一个油漆桶绊倒了 小吐了一下
但是我想 我想这句"谢谢"也够了
是啊 说"谢谢"怎么了
爸爸 这几乎是最低程度的感激了
杰 看在上帝份上 说点什么
你想让我说点什么吗
那"欢迎你们"怎么样
"我很高兴你们大家都能来"
"所以我才能在这享受你们的碎碎念"吗
我做不来
我从来也不做这个
相信我 我给你们的已经比我父亲
给我的要多出一倍了
他一辈子就吻过我一
他走到我身后亲了下我的后脑勺
对我说 晚安 贝奇
他竟然把我当成了我妹妹
等一下
你上次亲米奇是什么时候
这都哪跟哪啊
米奇 他上次亲你是什么时候
我记不得了
-又没多久 -我12岁的时候
12岁 这就是问题所在
杰的老爸不亲杰
所以杰就不亲米奇 从而导致米奇灰常保守
好了好了 现在不是谈我保不保守的事
我们是在谈亲吻
杰 亲吻你的儿子 他简直一团糟
不会吧 现在吗
我们其实不必这么做的
-你要做 - 不
快滴 亲嘛 孙辈们都看着呢
好吧好吧 别吵了
米奇 过来
什么 现在吗 我觉得太诡异了
别扭扭捏捏的
你还等什么呢 一盒巧克力吗
过来亲亲
这是我见过的最甜蜜的事了
就这样 我现在可不想再听到有人抱怨
到你了
没你的事
爸爸我爱你
我们来吃圈圈肉吧
那是用猪肠做的对吗
艾丽克斯 等一下
-怎么了 -我想和你谈谈
妈妈 我不想再听你的那些说教了
不是说教 我想告诉你一些事情
亲爱的 我完全了解你现在的心情
不 你不了解
好吧 还记得今晚外公讲的那个笑话吗
确 确实有这么回事
那 是真的
这么说你真裸着被抓过
我没裸
而且我本身也没有被抓
我只是有天晚上被警车送回家
而这是因为我和我男友
没带泳衣
就跑去别人的水池里游泳等等等等
细节不重要
关键在于学校里每个人都在谈论这件事
我当时以为自己死定了
不过这事儿也就这么过去了
我发誓
而现在 宝贝 我很高兴有这么回事
这让我在晚宴时有笑料可说
那你花了多久才觉得这事儿有趣的
老天
十到十五年吧
好极了 我明天怎么办
我认为你不需要担心这个
去吧去
在哥伦比亚 我们常常亲吻
因为一个吻可以有辣么多涵义
这儿没鬼吧
当然没
睡个好觉 孩子
它可能素一个全新的开始
也可能素我们说"这是我的爱人"的方式
谁吻功更高 我还是你老爸
恶[与"你"音相近]
也可能会很浪漫
只是想告诉你 要是我朋友不在那儿的话
我会答应你的
所以 要是你还愿意的话
要是可以的话
或许我们应该先多约会几次
毕竟这是我们除了短信之外
第二次说话
也可能会值得等待
杰 这是什么
不过是你耍我的时候
我为你做的另一件好事罢了
曼尼把你的小把戏都告诉我了
你现在不爽了吗
不 我感觉灰常好
那照片绝对是我的最爱
菲尔 你真的不必这么做
不 我能做到 我想这么做
花钱请人来做这个真是太蠢了
哦 不
等等 别别 千万别洒出来
亲爱的 别把它洒出来
你弄我身上去了
小心点 我的天啊
没事的 站起来 你没事的
-把它弄掉 -好的 我来弄
我来弄 脱掉了 脱掉了
-我的脸 -没弄你的脸
-我的脸 -看到了
我会帮你擦掉的 你没事的
好吧 我得去
-弄得我一身都是 -我来把衣服剪了
好主意
帮我拿个桶 快点。